#I need them to go to phases of their relationship
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"I'm here as long as you want me to be," is definitely a good way to describe their relationship. They're definitely not in the "Dating Honeymoon Phase" but they're definitely not trying to force themselves in the "just friends" category either.
In a way, they're both aware that they have feelings for each other.
I definitely think Stolas is just at a point where he needs to grow more. You can tell that he's still adjusting, still processing, still unsure.
And Blitz is happily going at whatever pace Stolas is ready for, but he's right by his side the entire way.
I do find it fascinating how you see Blitz hesitating here and there, unsure on how to reach out, how to touch Stolas.
Yet he still knows how to find a way to let Stolas know he's there for them.
I am so happy where Stolitz is at...
They're definitely not "just friends" but you can tell that they're taking things slow, and I love that for them.
Blitz and Stolas look at each other with so much love, it's so beautiful.
Stolas now knows Blitz cares about him, and I love that they didn't need to say it.
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sweetheart, i can feel you.
synopsis — megan who loves sitting on your lap, no matter the time or the place. but it wasn’t like you were complaining, anyways.
established relationship, fluff.
now playing: ride me darling, artemas
a/n: inspired by this dahmo photo, and because i love dark hair megan, and also because she just seems like the type of girlfriend to claim you as her seat.
when you first met megan, you didn’t think of her as the territorial type. and in all honesty, she didn’t expect it from you either.
things began to change soon after being nine months into the relationship and you both had to have everyone know that you belonged to each other.
it was the usual intimate things — hickeys, scratch marks, bite marks — that normally meant both of you were taken.
neither of you were complaining, though.
(megan still remembered the day she’d come home, her skin littered with your love bites.
“jesus christ,” manon muttered, seeing her neck. it wasn’t much, but it would take a little more effort to hide. “yn really needed to make her claim, didn’t she?”
lara peeked over at megan when she walked by, hearing the two converse and made her own teasing comment.
the dark haired girl blushed, but didn’t say anything. she was absolutely shameless, relishing in the fact that she was yours just as much as you were hers.
besides, she would be able to cover up a few hickeys here and there. you, on the other hand, wouldn’t fare well as much as her. your back was filled with long, red lines that megan was sure would sting for days.)
(she was a bit of a scratcher.)
the claims eventually gravitated to a more softer and innocent light.
for instance, megan always needing to hold your hand and run her thumb along the back of it. or you always having to have an arm around her, whether it be her waist or her shoulders. at some point, it was decided that you’d even wear one her bra straps on your wrist, almost as if it were a bracelet.
recently though, megan had built up a habit of sitting on your lap, which she claimed was her favorite place to be.
“is this seat taken?”
looking up, you see megan standing above you while you sat on a wooden bench outside. currently, you were at a house party that your mutual friend yunjin was throwing.
you chuckled, “which one?”
it wasn’t a serious question, knowing exactly what she meant. and even if there were plenty of other empty seats around you, megan only wanted one of them.
she didn’t respond, giving you a sly smile before she moved your hand out of the way and sat herself right on your lap. she wiggled, getting comfortable. immediately, your hands went around her torso, locking your right hand with her left one.
megan turned to give you a kiss, smiling gently, feeling as if she was at peace. her lips were soft and tasted of cherry.
“how long are you going to do this?” you asked, leaning your chin against her shoulder.
the conversation you’d been having previously was long forgotten, and although you felt a little guilty considering megan practically interrupted it, you knew you couldn’t focus on anything else with her around.
“oh this?” megan gestured downwards, “it’s sadly not a phase, i think i found my new favorite spot.”
the laugh that escaped you made megan’s chest warm, and the look in your eyes made her feel as she was the only person you were seeing right now.
“i’m not complaining, not at all.” you quickly said, hoping to convey that it wasn’t a problem. “in fact, i quite like it. having a pretty girl sitting on my lap is like a dream.”
“a pretty girl?” megan turned to face you completely.
her body was now turned to the side with her the side of shoulder against your chest instead of her back. the look on her face had you leaning in, ghosting your lips over hers. her eyebrow was raised, challenging you.
oh, how you loved to tease her.
“sorry, my pretty girl.”
your lips pressed together in a chaste kiss. you could feel megan smiling against your lips, her fingers fiddling with the bra strap on your wrist.
“ugh, here they go again.”
hearing the comment of daniela from around the room, megan pulled away and yelled an insult back, while you leaned into her and pressed a delicate kiss against her lower neck.
“are you comfortable?”
“very.”
you groaned at megan’s cheeky reply, but you brought her closer to you despite the circumstances.
“baby, you can’t even see the movie.”
megan was once again sitting on your lap, while you were on the couch in the living room of the katseye dorms. you’d be spending the night there, and while they were all in their own rooms, you and megan took the opportunity to watch movies in the lounge.
however, she seemed to have different plans.
as soon as you’d finally picked a movie, megan walked over to you with a bowl of popcorn. she set it down in front of you on a coffee table and maneuvered her way onto your lap.
her back was facing the tv, the movie now paused which barely even made it through the intro. you laughed quietly to yourself, pulling her even closer than before.
“the movie is the least of my concerns right now,” megan said, laying her cheek in your shoulder. “i just wanna cuddle.”
“we should’ve just stayed in your room then.” you replied, tracing shapes on her exposed skin.
“lara would tease us again.” she mumbled, and snuggled into you further.
a quiet and comforting atmosphere settled around you two as you continued tracing shapes, the feeling of it lulling megan into a drowsy state. her breathing evened out and you could tell she was close to falling asleep.
you realized then that the plans for a movie were a waste, breathing in her scent. she mumbled something under her breath so quiet that you barely heard her.
“mh?”
megan turned her head so that it was now tucked into your neck, “i asked how are you this comfortable?”
her breath tickled your skin, trying not to let it affect you too much. a lazy grin settled on your lips, and you shrugged lightly.
“i dunno, i guess i’m just built like that.” you whispered, to which she giggled at.
megan lifted up her head, now staring at you. her eyes were filled with such love and warmth that you couldn’t believe she was really with you.
“i’m using you as a pillow from now.” she stated, not leaving room for any argument.
a curt nod was given in response. accepting your fate, you knew then that megan would hold her word to it.
you were already late for the function, and it didn’t help that megan’s outfit had you undressing her with your eyes.
you were leaning against the doorframe of your bedroom, arms folded over your chest as you watched her movements. your gaze raked over her, admiring from afar. many thoughts swirled around in your head, but the main one was how could someone look so effortlessly beautiful?
“i can feel you staring.” she noted as she looked around the dresser for a specific necklace.
clicking your tongue, you tilted your head to the side. “well i can’t help it when my girlfriend is drop dead gorgeous.”
megan shook her head playfully, finally seeing the item she was searching for. she beckoned you over with her hand, holding the necklace up for you.
“help me put this on.”
she turned around, lifting her dark hair in order for you to place the necklace on her neck. making quick work of clasping the necklace together, you let it rest on the back of her neck, fingers trailing across her smooth skin.
peering at her figure the mirror, you let your thoughts consume your words.
“i don’t think i can make it through the night without tearing that dress off you.”
megan’s cheeks flushed a pink hue at your comment. she turned back to face you and tapped your chest twice.
“we’re already late.” she reminded you.
your hands snuck up to her waist, settling them on her hips and gripped softly. she looked over you once, thinking that you looked equally as beautiful as she did.
“we should take a photo.” megan moved to quickly grab her phone, opening up the camera app.
“you quite literally just said we’re already late.” you chuckled at her hypocrisy.
megan hushed you and made you sit on the square leather bench in front of the dresser. following her instructions obediently, you waited silently for her as she fixed herself one last time before taking a seat on your lap.
it was almost natural at this point, having her atop your legs.
your hands went to her thighs, feeling the dress material under your skin. she held up the camera in the mirror, capturing the moment of a kiss being pressed to her cheek.
“i am so making this my new background.” she smiled, and you finally left your apartment for the night ahead.
well, i’m back for another…
again, i apologize for any typos and hope reading this was enjoyable! i’m not sure if i like this much but i really wanted to write a megan imagine <3
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Stuff for HB season 3
m&m relationship arc
while I think that ultimately they will keep the baby, millie and moxxie have a lot of stuff to work on first.
they married young and without knowing much about each other like their pasts. especially moxxie hiding his mob background.
this is their time for the relationship to evolve past the lovey-dovey gooey phase and enter something a bit more serious and with more depth.
they seem to be entering this already since they were able to voice some of their complaints about each other (moxxie watches too many musicals, millie snores, etc) during the sinsmas play fight.
but there will definitely be some angst and serious writing for them.
millie especially will be working on her dismissal of human lives as expendable in her role as an assassin.
perhaps there is a scene where she can't bring herself to kill a pregnant person/ someone with a new baby because she is going to be a mother herself.
octavia learns about what is expected of her as a goetia/ stolas's past
we as the audience have known from the beginning that stolas was forced from a young age to be what was expected of him and to marry/ produce an heir out of obligation.
but I think via has no idea about any of it.
stolas hide it from her because he wanted his child to grow up happy and carefree, without the crushing responsibilities he felt.
now that stella and Andy are in charge I have a feeling that they will be demanding a lot more of her, especially if Andy is looking to punish her for embarrassing him during the sinsmas fight.
honestly to hold on to his own power, he may try to marry her off.
this will allow via to understand how lucky and unique her life has been and how hard stolas worked to protect her.
im also thinking that loona will have a hand paw in this process too.
loona is a neutral party in the family messiness because 1) she is an adult and 2) she is adopted.
via is smart enough to know that loona won't automatically take blitz's side and if she does it must be for a good reason.
stolas unlearning his rich privileges
we have seen a bit of this during the month montage before Sinsmas but it was a lot of stolas being in shock/ feeling sorry for himself.
but stolas really must learn that even tho he had a miserable childhood and immense responsibilities, he also had WAY more of literally everything.
and that in order his level of power to exist, the rest of the hellborn (imps especially) must live in abject poverty.
Imp revolution
despite hellborn not liking stolas, blitz clearly is becoming a folk hero and his actions are leading to revolt.
this may be a season 4 thing, but I think that hell is headed for full on class warfare.
the hellborn will fight against the goetia and demand equal rights and maybe even democracy.
Ozzie and Bee will no doubt be involved because they have hellborn lovers and have always been supportive of the lower classes.
but the rest of the Sins will either be staunchly against or just uninterested.
barbie wire arc
we definitely need a resolution to her hatred of blitz and blaming him for the fire.
her seeing everyone praise blitz for his heroics will lead to a big confrontation about everything.
Anybody got other ideas? :)
#helluva boss#stolitz#stolas#viziepop#hellaverse#blitz#millie and moxxie#millie#moxxie#loona#helluva#helluva boss theory#helluva boss season 3#octavia#Andrealphus#stella goetia#imp#hellborn#sinsmas#spoilers
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happy april fools' from your big brothers, dumbass (affectionate)
#persona#art tag#p5r#p4g#p3re#i think i'll use the tags for the specific games i've played#anyway i have a headcanon#my renren REALLY admires his big brothers and is VERY prone to being gullible around them#i mean... why whould they just lie yanno ???#this is an incredibly stupid comic#but when i first saw the p3 school emblem i laughed my ASS off#bc all i could see was the bmw logo#then i started p4 and LO WHY IS IT THE MERCEDES LOGO LMFAOOOO#like ok i know the p3 one is probs supposed to represent the moon phases#and the p4 one is probs just a Y for yatogami ?? maybe ??#but i still find it SO FUNNYYYY#anyway i need to do some reference sheets for these three#or a relationship chart or sth#that said i've only played like 2hours of p4#my headcanons arent anything to do with real canon tbh#i am making them my ocs now and you cant do anything to stop me#I SWEAR if i get any comments that are like#UHM AKSHULLY JOKER KNOWS THE OTHER TWO SCHOOLS or something#i am going to lose my mind#this is a joke and joker is there to do the setup for the joke#HENCE HIS NAME LOL
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I think it's genuinely becoming concerning how hyper-sexualized we, as a society, are becoming. does no one else think it's genuinely worrying that so many women can remember being a child not being able to google their favourite female cartoon character without seeing grotesquely over-sexualized fanart of her that they couldn't even healthily process at the time, and if you talk about that making you uncomfortable or affecting your wellbeing in any way, you're called a puritan, or a prude, or some other pejorative to indicate that having complex or negative feelings about sexuality in any way is callous or judgemental or a display of moral superiority? why is it so difficult to find art or media that isn't sexualized in nature? why are we so obsessed with making a special and unique feature of the human condition our primary focus almost all of the time? even more concerning is that it isn't just some niche little group of people on the internet, it's rampant. every nook and cranny of the internet has these people, ready and raring to compare you to a Christian missionary if you dare speak anything slightly negative about society's many varying views on sexuality. like the people on Twitter proudly displaying their incest/rape kink (I've seen this one A LOT), because how can you claim to be an ally to survivors of sexual assault, or a feminist, but not even be able to recognize that incestuous abuse is one of the most common forms of child sexual abuse that is committed to young girls by their male relatives, and that women struggle to have their rape stories taken seriously because sexual abuse has been culturally normalized by the mainstream-ification of violent, abusive pornography? why do other people criticizing how modern sexuality enables rape culture make you feel personally threatened or limited in your own, private relationship to your own sexuality? and where does it end? are we going to start telling women who say "no thank you, I'm not interested" to 'loosen up' and 'learn to have some fun' again? are we going to ban women from the platforms they created for themselves to talk about their experiences with sexual trauma and assault? start protecting sex offenders from being held accountable for their crimes, start ignoring the role marriage plays as an institution for male control over female sexuality, start preaching that individual sexual pleasure is all that matters, and anyone who disagrees is a fascist? I'm sure that a large part of the problem is that these people generally have a Shadow Complex, and are still stuck in the "I like to pretend I'm being so rebellious against sexual shame culture, but really my shame is just making me act out in hyper-sexual ways just to be contrarian and spiteful to the perceived status quo, because I never developed the emotional tools needed to simultaneously practice destigmatizing human sexuality while also maintaining critical thinking towards sexual culture, which shows that I'm actually still feeling my internalized shame on a very deep level, and it's still very much affecting me in unconscious and almost uncontrollable ways" phase, which is honestly the case for most of them. I'm just worried for the future, because all the people saying these things are just reinventing pornographic rape culture under the guise of progressivism, and are (intentionally or unintentionally, it depends) causing more harm than good.
I think it's genuinely concerning how sex-negative we, as a society, are becoming. (This post brought to you by a few tweets I saw)
Does no one else think it's genuinely worrying how if you even find a fictional character attractive, you're called a gooner, or a degenerate, or some other pejorative to indicate that being sexual in any way is gross and nasty and yucky? Why does art suddenly lack artistic value because it's sexual in nature? Why are we so obsessed with associating a core feature of the human condition with shame and guilt?
Even more concerning is that it isn't just some niche little group of people on the internet, it's rampant. Every nook and cranny of the internet has these people, ready and raring to call you names if you dare speak anything slightly not-safe-for-work.
Like the people on twitter openly calling trans women degenerates and freaks for having an incest/rape kink (I've seen this one A LOT), because how can you claim to be an ally, or lgbt-friendly, or a feminist, but get mad at a woman expressing her sexuality? Why does sexuality gross you out to the point you feel the need to demean people over it?
And where does it end? Are we going to start calling women who dress a little too revealing 'sluts' again? Are we going to ban sex scenes in movies? Start preaching abstinence, say sex outside of marriage is bad, that lust is immoral, and being gay is a sin?
I'm sure that a large part of the problem is that these people are generally children, and still in the "sex is gross" phase, but I know that's not the case with all of them. I'm just worried for the future, because all the people saying these things are just reinventing conservatism under the guise of progressivism, and are (intentionally or unintentionally, I'm not sure) causing more harm than good.
I know we talk about puritanism and stuff all the time, but in my opinion, it's gotten to a point even the actual puritans didn't get to.
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i need to write vdm
#phase weeps#i need to write them beating the shit out of eachother and then fucking#young vdm were absolutely insane and i stand by that#yes they have their tender moments but i feel. atleast in how i perceive them that they never ever had they true acceptance of feelings#they were never lovers or husbands but they were partners and i think that they were in love in the way that people like them could be in#love. but i think theres a lot more potential to tem then the cut and clean “they are husbands” narrative#i want vdm to be as ugly and rife as every other relationship in game#and i especially want to put emphasis on their inability to let go of the past and living in this “free and wild” world#and i think this dream of dutchs deeply affects how he views relationships#as just another gust of wind. just another sunset#just another desert flower#his romaticazition of being on the run. painting the blood on his hands as holy#the rough and tumblr hospitality of the american dream#is so deeply packed into who he is as a person that he cannot see beyond his own viewpoint#and dutch is a self centered man#his viewpoint is his world. because dutch is the sun. and everything revolves around him. and everything that gets drawn in burns up#eventually#and i think hoseas trick is that you never get that close#there is a longing to vandermatthews that speaks of a chasm between them. on the cusp of deep understanding yet skirting around it#they are life partners#and they hold each others hands through the darkest parts of their self made hell#but their is nothing romantic or holy about it#they are a visage of the american man and twisted american kindness. and they are people soldered parts of themselves together but the deep#parts are left to be seen and not touched. i just. theirs so much potential for tragedy in vandermatthews i dont think we're touching
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this rewatch of sdmi has so far been a combination of skipping around and watching straight through from the beginning, and my feelings are increasingly that shaggy, daphne, and marcie are precious and oh my god someone please get these poor kids away from everyone else in this cast
#sdmi#scooby doo mystery incorporated#marcie fleach#shaggy rogers#daphne blake#they're not perfect by any means; but they're also not *abusive controlling assholes* and they all really go through the wringer#daphne and shaggy's arcs especially are really rough to watch#scooby fred and velma all have their issues but they need to deal with them *miles* away from these three#including keeping velma away from marcie; because sure they're cute high school wlw holding hands now#but once the honeymoon phase is over the abuse *will* come out; that is how it goes; kind of infamously so#velma deals with her issues through being abusive and that does not go away because she's on a new relationship high#with someone who hasn't stepped out of line in specific ways she feels entitled to punish and control yet#this poor kid has been through enough even in the new timeline man give her a break :(((#and that's not even going into the horror story that is daphne ending up with fred; or shaggy's closest connection continuing to be scooby#anyway i will protect these three with my life someone help them#abuse cw#domestic violence implied cw#SDMItag
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Ramping up to my first family therapy appointment and I'm feeling like an insane person trying to get thoughts in order like this is hell on earth 🤡
#Creepy chatter#Trying to convince other parties that I don't have issues I can just 'get over' is maddening#'all these fucking things shaped me into who I am + I am desperate for a healthy relationship w myself and you and these forever factors'#vs someone insisting 'I want to deal w these things and move on and not have to talk about them again'#I am ALWAYS going to be affected by several of these things but they don't HAVE to hurt me to be a part of me#Also it really sucks being told you're The Most complicated relationship in someone's life like it's a bad thing :(#But like. Idk. I'm in such a shit phase of 'you're right I wasn't the nicest and I'm sorry for not respecting your feelings'#When mine have quite literally never get acknowledged beyond making me a problem 👁️👁️#This is why we need therapy!!!!#I don't want a therapist to take my side and I'm not trying to win any kind of argument#I just need a third party to fucking HELP ME
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I think it’s clear that he puts more thought into the cast’s friendship, and it’s too the point I wished that everyone didn’t have any romantic relationships with each other. Sure I do like the main pairings, but the way Nakaba writes them is shallow. There’s little to no substance that he covers with the ship and it feels very static to me.
Sometimes I wanna ramble about ships and how I feel about them. I think the relationship in 7ds can be deep, but Nakaba never really puts a huge focus on the stuff I wanted or did them at all. Anyways I’ll probably put a google doc or something to put my feelings onto there
#I need them to go to phases of their relationship#but not#oh I really like you#but 3 amnesia arcs happened so it had to be postponed#Or I love you dearly and I’ll forever keep chasing you#UNTIL I get you#the last one is a bad mindset to have btw#but the characters get what they want#Which I don’t like!!
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I'm just kinda thinking over what could it been had things gone just. Just every so slightly better
Had some fundamentals been challenged further
Had the right words be spoken
Had they didn't go all in
It's just so sad, because I ultimately do see them working on the right scenarios, but they're all just...fantasy, a fleeting dream, the unreachable
Oughhhh I love them so much. They're so doomed
#perceptive little crow#this is about teopeka btw#i just listened to something good can work and it was like 'man. this would've been the ideal'#because YES i do believe the first phase of their relationship was full of hope for the future for both ends#peka just found himself on a new world that seemed detached from the previous. he could start anew#tbh tho teo simply followed out of pity and a bit of hopelessness. I wouldn't be surprised if her life was just kinda shaking a couple days-#before she met peka. and after seeing what he was capable of she kinda just....relaxed. knowing it may go well after all#it was a gamble she took. but damn did it pay off. and she gets to enjoy the benefits for a fair amount too#then The Incident happened#then a new department that was the opposite of what she advocate for formed on the company she wanted to create#then she started being pushed more and more on administrative/executive roles and was basically out of the field#then she felt disconnected of her world. her passion. her people#no place to go to no shoulder to land on. she wasn't alone she just....was a deeply lonely woman at the end#sorry. im not even sure if this actually fits the direction I'd like her to go to on my au/fanfic. but ig it fits#anyways. maybe had stuff gone differently she would've enjoyed the benefits all the way through#she maybe could've had both sides of the cake#who knows#it's just kinda interesting to think about the gambles she took went it came to hlev/peka. both on moments of desperation/loneliness#both the same weird ass guy that she saw at first and went 'what the fuck is his deal'#both just...so endearing she can't help but love them#maybe she needs them as much as they need her#maybe any and all their relationships never were meant to last#but that's kinda dooming it further and honestly I'd like to see a happy ending (where i get to be with my crush x3!!!!!!)#so I'll leave one side to rot and the other to bloom. easy.#sorry im rambling too much now. night night
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you ever hangout with someone and their company is actually much worse than being alone?
#she came over and we watched hasee toh phasee together okay#bc she said she hadn't seen it and i was like huh wtf!!!!!#terrible idea she doesn't deserve to see that movie it was so perfect she didn't ruin it exactly bc it's my fav#movie ever and she's not important enough to change that#but god it was annoying having her next to me i wanted her to go away and watch it on my own😭😭#she kept looking at her phone on super important scenes and she kept saying arey she should find out about them where is the spice#and i kept saying this isn't about spice it's sweet heartwarming story about love and doomed relationships and father daugter rships#but she didn't appreciate it#i need to watch the movie again on my own to cleanse myself from the negativity ew#and she said i had so much fun let's do this again help😭😭 meko nahi karna never again#time to subtly start ignoring her so she gets the message and leave me alone#i already got the ick from her when she acted that way over parents but i was like ivy no ppl aren't perfect give her a second chance you#friends you're really lonely your internet friends are great but they can't sit next to you and talk to you#but i was wrong being lonely is better she's just so. wrong😭#i kept thinking she's literally worse than everyone in my life i would have had more fun watching it with my MOM😭#and my sis loves this movie and my bestie loves this movie and my cousin sis also loves this movie#UGH
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i think mark is kind of like the epitome of my taste in men (murdoc is special and in his own category) because hes so wet and pathetic and hes such a loser and i just want him so bad it makes me feel sick
#txt#mark#i need him😭#im not attracted to men but i love their problems so much i want to make them worse and i want to take care of them at the same time#im in a weird phase where i want to baby pathetic men its been going on for a couple months now and its scaring me. i was never like this#before#i want to baby them but i want to make their lives a living hell#i kind of hope somehow i do end up with a guy... or i have a weird kind of relationship with one. whos just sooo sopping wet pathetic#just so i can experience it for real#but whatevs itll never happen. i dont attract guys like that#which is sad bc my life would be so much better if i did#also mark is so cute like visually SNIFFLE ugh i love david soooo much his eyes are gorgeous and his voice is so peculiar#i love peculiar guys#i want to lock them away and keep them as zoo animals#i want to do this with mr president too of course he should have been locked up. but only so i could have looked at him under high scrutiny#whatevs
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.
#update for my friends here#(and then I gotta go read aristotle lol)#I'm doing ok. I think maybe I've made some friends here. particularly a couple of girls on my hall who have been very kind to me.#wish my emotions would come back and be normal#and by 'normal' I mean not just random crying whenever I try to sit still and think for a few minutes.#there's so much happening. my heart is pulled so many ways. I'm not sure how to resolve any of it.#and I'm aching for resolution.#but I think God is trying to show me how much more I still haven't done or experienced#even though a lot of times I feel like I've lived all of life there is to live and there's nothing left anymore.#I wish I had more trustworthy people in my life who are older than me and can help speak into this experience.#I need to call my parents and siblings back home. I miss them.#I keep questioning my decision to come here. maybe I should've stayed home.#I don't know. maybe it's all an exercise in trust.#I'm still afraid most of the time I think. I wish I could put that fear to death. I wish I could just lean back and trust.#everything just moves so fast.#if any of my post-college (undergrad at least) friends would like to give me tips for slowing down and being intentional with life#and relationships and stuff#during this phase of life--I am extremely open to hearing about them!#love you all <3
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going through another “ there’s nothing wrong with me phase “ and this one’s pretty intense 
#usually it’s just like I’m pretty great#but I am genuinely considering abandoning all of my relationships because I don’t need them#my best friend of 8 years? well she over stepped an boundary so bye bye#my therapist who has those test results i need? nah i’m good#the way she reacted to that one thing i did felt a little predatory ( nonsexual )#i don’t need to go back#i go through phases of deep dissatisfaction with myself an my lack of identity#and our society is awful and i’m so glad that i’m not human you all seem miserable bye#schizoid personality disorder#szpd#probably*
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The absolute Misty Quigley-level mental gymnastics by Ana to come to the conclusion that her breaking Mariana's heart in season 1 was somehow all Juan Carlos's fault because if he hadn't gotten involved with Tere, Ana wouldn't have found out the day of the baptism and she wouldn't have gotten mad at Mariana for keeping that secret from her and, thus, rejected her when she told Ana she was in love with her ���🤣
#madre solo hay dos#olympic gold medallist truly lmao#but real talk I love that this is a realization she only could have had retroactively#like now that she's completely leaning into her feelings for mariana and 100% owning them#she can think back on that and almost... regret it I wanna say?#she did speak of that as something she wished she hadn't done which was... inch resting#also amazing? ana referring to mariana as 'the only relationship I cared about' like DAMN we really are going for it aren't we??#we really are out here at this stage in season 3 with ana casually talking about being in love with mariana#as matter-of-factly as if she were talking about the weather#I'm surprised by how quickly she accepted it as a fact I would have expected someone like ana to be in denial a little longer#perhaps if this had been a typical 22-episode-per-season show that needed filler episodes she would have been#but I still love that they're not wasting time having her brush it off as just a phase or being confused#especially after getting her heart broken so spectacularly since she tends to react poorly to getting hurt#once again maybe if they'd had more episodes she would have but for better or worse this is where we're at now and it's so much better#in terms of the message it sends#ANYWAY... now with mariana considering moving to fucking TIJUANA the final two episodes are gonna be BANGING#thoughts no one cares about
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lack of communication and miscommunication kill me bro. especially when there's care involved, especially mutual care. COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR PERSON GODDAMMIT
#but i'm a hyprocite#because i can hardly bring myself to do it when there is the need#but god why is life so hard??#why are relationships so hard??????#nikita watches hometown: cha cha cha#also second hand embarassment is really hard for me#watching people kind of make a fool of themselves by being extremely naïve#setting really unrealistic high expectations and then inevitably feeling incredibly hurt when it all comes crashing down around your ears#i have to counsel my way through this#i have to keep reminding myself that character growth and development have to have a place to grow from#its so hard to watch though#because we see from all perspectives wider than each individual character does#and some characters have a very narrow pov for whatever reason it may be#inexperience#infatuation#theyre in the honeymoon phase of their relationship so i'm going to take several deep breaths and give them time#ok#GOD
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